.: Cerita Kehidupan :.

Haven’t write for quite a long time. Frankly, my schedule is tight and packed! But alhamdulillah, my health is tip top and that is the most fundamental issue when you lead a hectic life. I have to stay physically active and mentally alert. My mind is mainly divided into two agendas : work and study. Both is equally important and requires reasonable judgement. In an hour, I will be heading to Kota Bharu. Most of the time, when I get exhausted and my body aches here and there and my mind is long for a long rest, the only cure to all these is PATIENCE. Those who are patient will finally conquer his dream.
I’m just a simple person. And I just want to lead a simple and ordinary life. I try to juggle my hectic schedule into the simple form. Insyaallah.

* Of all the things I ever wanted, I’ve always want Him to always be in my heart. I may lost everything
but (please) not You.Amin.

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 (photo credit to Kevin Lawver)

You are not the sun for me
but certainly the lively star
that shines softly but surely

You did not give your heart to me
but pieces of your soul
are parts of my hope

This will not last
for time will part us
but good deeds are too good to  forget
too nice to be taken away from thought

I will remember your innocent eyes
I see your soul grows
your awkward gestures
don’t seem imperfect to me

My beloved students
you are buds of tomorrow

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Nama betul Ikhwan. Entah kenapa semua kawan-kawannya memanggilnya begitu. Umur 16 tahun. Perawakan sederhana. Kulit agak gelap. Apa yang signifikan pasal dia? Dia pelajarku yang ‘berbeza’. Hatinya keras. Bila disuruh, cepat membantah. Benci ditegur. Terpancar rasa bangga di matanya bila membantah cakap guru. Aku pernah terkena. Terkedu juga kali pertama. Biasanya pelajar ada juga rasa hormat pada guru. Yang macam ini umpama satu dalam seratus. Mereka suka berkasar dan memberontak. Hati sudah keras. Mungkin solat tidak diamalkan. Manusia jadi ganas tanpa petunjuk.

Seminggu berikutnya, berkesempatan berbual dengan seorang ustazah. Langsung terkeluar cerita Ikhwan ini. Dapatlah ku agak apa sebenarnya. Broken family. Ibu ayah bercerai. Si ibu berkahwin semula dengan duda Indonesia beranak tiga. Lalu Ikhwan terpaksa bercampur dengan adik beradik tirinya tanpa rela. Benci pada tindakan ibu sendiri. Terasing dalam rumah sendiri. Oh..dapat kubayangkan jiwanya bergelora. Menerima sesuatu yang berat seusia belasan tahun. Si ibu pula jarang di rumah. Mengambil upah menjahit baju saban hari. Dia dan ayah tiri bagaikan musuh. Ayah sendiri pula hilang entah kemana. Aku terdiam mendengar cerita kehidupan Ikhwan.

Selalunya begitulah. Kesilapan dan kepincangan keluarga ditanggung anak-anak. Besar amat beban ibubapa. Menyempurnakan jiwa anak-anak bukan perkara cuba-cuba.

Guru semata-mata takkan mampu mengubah jiwa Ikhwan yang runtuh. Punca masalahnya di rumah. Siapakah yang akan mengubat hatinya? Yang pasti, dia masih mengharapkan bahagia yang semalam. Dari ibu dan ayah tentunya.

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Kata orang, jangan hampakan harapan orang. Tapi hari ini, aku sedikit bertegas. Mana tidaknya, tarikh tutup borang telah kumaklumkan awal-awal. Beginilah sikap sebilangan besar orang-orang kita. Suka buat kerja last minute. Suka hantar borang lewat (in particular). Suka mengharapkan ehsan. Unwilling to give extra effort. Geram. Dan ya.. kali ini aku bertegas. To my students, I hope you learned something. It’s not that I wanted to be tough or inconsiderate. Please, my dear. Change your attitude!

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Doing two totally different things at the same time is sometimes can be psychotic! This week, I ‘enjoy’ the tense very well. The worst part is, mentally you start to lose your grip. Physically it steals your state of mind. Though I know there are surely has many benefits despite the worst part. But today, let me untangle the worst and the unhealthy parts of being 2-in-1. Work plus study can really make you like a complete idiot. I can feel the symptom of inability to assimilate the daily tasks. Life starts as early as 6.00 am. The morning schedule already takes half of your physical energy. Plus the mental torture of deadlines. Time flies extremely fast. Afternoon doesn’t mean less work. Added with afternoon classes that require equal energy like the morning session (but the truth is your mind get blunt, your back aches, you really need some time to unwind). From time to time you keep reminding yoursef about the unfinished tasks that need to tackle. The tense sometimes shows in your less frequent smiles, focused look and unfriendly chats. Back home, though your mind is refrehed with those unfinished tasks, but your body just prefer the tempting bed and comfy pillows. How am I supposed to be focused when I’m physically strained? So, the evening ends as early as 9.30 pm to reenergise the lost power (and soul). While writing and reading my own schedule,  I realise that whatever it takes, I need to look life in a  simpler and positive way. Life is supposed to be enjoyed. By the way, those hectic and stressfull events were just parts of the episodes in life.

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